Say what?? I didn't say THAT!
Fortunate. Fantastic. Frustrating. Fail. These are words I would use to describe my dictation experience over the last year.
While I work on the typing skillzz, my e-mails, text messages, social media posts, AND this bomb-diggity blog are currently created by dictation, along with speech, and voice over. It’s a process.
I am FORTUNATE to have dictation as a part of my assistive technology tools. Dictation is FANTASTIC because it allows me to stay connected on all my devices via voice… and you knoooow how I love to talk! Blah, blah, blah…all day, all day!
Using dictation can be a little FRUSTRATING at times. Well, maaaybe even ugly. yeah… blind girl tizzys and technology timeouts be happenin’ over here! It drives me crazy when I have to repeat a word over and over until it types out the the actual word I’m pronouncing! It can be downright weak dick kill us!!
That brains me to the surprising fart of dictation. The crazy word or words that dick station thinks I’m saying… which I’m not!… I call a dictation FAIL! Stop! Just for the record, I’m not drunk dictating. Friends don’t let blind friends drink and dictate, Right?!? ha ha! Okay, okay… can you see or hear how my innocent words turned into FAIL? OH that silly dictation!!!
Let me throw out some of the more precious examples for y’all! If you dictate anything, you will relate! Note: I’m not holding back on the profanity here. Dictation has a potty mouth!
French horn = French porn
It’s = tits
Tizzy fit = dizzy tit
So excited = so X-rated
Bitchy blind girl = witchy blonde girl
Focus = so kiss, but this,
butt guess, phone sex, fuck yes
Focus Friday = fuck it’s Friday
Blind happiness = find hat penis
SAY WHAT?? Yup! I swear! These little gems have popped up in my dictations. Some of them sound like the drinks your friends bought you on your 21st birthday! yikes! Hopefully you will never see any of the dirty faux pas, because I’m a recovering perfectionist and a quick bitch on those edit, change it and delete commands! C’mon… I keep the blog shit classy here at Girl Gone Blind!
13 Comments on “Say what?? I didn't say THAT!”
Leave a comment
Hello! Here is a little about me. I am a mom of two fantastic kids, group fitness instructor, transformational speaker, blogger, podcaster, and advocate in beautiful San Diego, CA. Oh, and as my website name would suggest, I am also legally blind. Yes, I’m a Girl Gone Blind — and I’m here to tell you all about it!
Girl Gone Blind 
Maria, you are too funny! Your “dictation” faux paux are funny now, but I’m sure frustrating when you want to get something done! Love you GGB!
LikeLike
Yes! It can be very frustrating!! Total love/hate relationship! Ha ha! xo
LikeLike
Sheet girl…you made me piece my pants!
LikeLike
THIS ONE IS BY FAR THE BEST YET MARIA…. LOVE IT… HUM, MIGHT HAVE TO TAKE UP OR LEARN HOW TO DICK TATE NOW…. SEE EVEN TYPING CAN COME OUT WRONG. LOL. KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK AND KEEP SMILING… TAKE CARE.
LikeLike
Thank you Lisa! That silly typing can be so ri-dick-ulous too!! Ha ha! xo
LikeLike
Maria, you really could have a future in Stand Up Comedy! Just do a GGB routine like this one and you would bring down the house!
LikeLike
Ha ha ha ha Lee! Maybe they should list comedian as one of my new career choices! 🙂 I got the material right?!? xu
LikeLike
I needed a good laugh today, Thanks Maria
LikeLike
Hi Christina! Laughter is the best medicine! Hope all is well and hope to see you soon with the girls! xo
LikeLike
Dang M1-
You are a crackup. Thanks for a great
laugh this afternoon.
LikeLike
Hey M2! I had to share what I put up with on a daily basis and yes, it can be pooper funny or really kiss me off!! Ha ha! xo
LikeLike
That was good, Maria. Who would have known that Ms. DICK-tation had quite the potty mouth. Dirty words everywhere! Even when you’re trying to say it’s it types tits. It sure makes for some great reading though 🙂
Love ya!
Mel
LikeLike
Hi Melanie! Yes… Mr. Dick Station can be a pain in my ass! But, I need him. Ha ha… Sounds like a really bad relationship! Oh well…. I will keep him for now until I relearn how to type! Then…. He needs to step aside! xo
LikeLike