There are days when all I think about is being blind.
Today is a day that all I think about is being blind…and It makes me incredibly sad.
Today is a day I feel overwhelmed by sadness and despair. Today is a day I cry uncontrollably about it. Today is a day I just can’t believe this is my life.
All it takes is one little thing, a simple task, or a memory to remind me in a big way. It’s completely crushing.
I can’t read anything or look at pictures without super mega magnification, write a note without finding a black sharpie to write with (shit, can’t read it anyway), I can’t drive…. drive my car ever again, I can’t find things in a store, I can’t recognize people around me or see facial expressions, I can’t see my face, or my own children’s faces. I have a lot of “I can’t” going on. That’s the way it is right now.
My days are not always easy. Adjusting to blindness is beyond f#cking hard! I know we all have obstacles…. But, try having most of your vision taken away. It’s a pretty gnarly obstacle!!!
I am thankful I was not affected by LHON until the age of 49. I had 49 years of full uninterrupted vision. God, what I wouldn’t give for one more day of full vision. At this point of the big GGB game…. I am also thankful that I don’t have 49 more years to live as a… Girl Gone Blind.
……I know this bad day shall pass, and there are more just like it to come.