I get asked a lot of questions about what I can, (or can’t), see. It’s okay… I don’t mind. One question I’ve been asked is “if you’re looking right at me, what can you see?” To answer, I go into the usual spiel and explain that they are in a cloudy blur (like everything else), I can make out the shape of their body, if there clothing is dark or light, can’t see their face, and blah blah blah. What they don’t realize is that since losing vision, I’m not really looking at them, I’m looking at what comes from WITHIN them. Whaaa? Yeah, it’s kinda my blind thing.
First, let me tell you what I’m not able to see when people are approaching, or when I’m engaged in conversation with someone. I can’t really see things like hair color or style, facial hair or clean-shaven, tattoos, piercings, makeup, jewelry, clothing, or shoes which create one’s physical appearance. Someone may look gorgeous or grotesque, a total hot mess or hot. as. hell. and their “appearance” WON’T be the first thing I notice about them. Okay…don’t get me wrong, I appreciate a well-dressed and well groomed hottie just as much as the next blind gal… but, none of that is going to tell me what a person is truly all about. Yep, There’s more to a person than meets my eyes.
So, How can I “see” people? Well…I’ve learned to “see” by listening. If you put on a blindfold and had a conversation with someone… all you would have is their voice and words to visualize who they are. That’s what I do now…all the time. I can tell quite a bit by listening, with no visual distractions, to WHAT people say, HOW they say it, and the vibe, the feeling, I get from them.
When I listen to people and engage with what they are saying, even if it’s just small talk, I’m getting a feel for who they are verbally, not visually. Which honestly, can be a good thing or a bad thing for some folks. If I can hear any hint of compassion, empathy, kindness, confidence, positivity, passion, humor, intelligence, or love in their voice and words, it’s a beautiful thing! These characteristics have nothing to do with their physical appearance, and everything to do with their inner beauty, heart and soul. If their vibe creates a safe and supportive feeling…. bonus beauty points for them!
It’s like that old saying… “You can’t judge a book by it’s cover”. And If I can’t see the size, shape, or style of that cover, I will look to “see” what kind of beauty, heart, and soul lies within. Yeah, that’s kinda my blind thing. xx
in your usual way, you have once again, expressed beautifully and tactfully whats what….without once saying to the person, “ARE YOU EFFEN KIDDING ME?” I AM BLIND AND CANNOT SEE YOUR FEATURES.
such grace and restraint
well done Maria dearest
You said that so perfectly, Ms. Maria. I am working now at the old folks home in Durango, Colorado. We have a beautiful little lady named Florence who is legally blind. Once she got to know my voice, she smiles so warmly every time I greet her. Bless you and thank you for sharing your life with us. Hugs too!!!
Your attitude is super positive and upbeat, and you attract people like you! Well said, my friend.
People often forget that it isn’t always important to see them but for us we go by how they sound. For sighted people they rely on their vision when speaking to people but for us we rely on the reflection in their voice and how they speak. You are right appearance is not going to matter if you can’t see them and I know someone might sound hot but be not what you expect to look at but I think other things can tell you about a person, such as smell for me that can tell me a lot about a person and although may not always be 100 percent correct I have found it mostly works when you put the voice and smell together. It doesn’t matter though as long as they are respectful of us and us of them.
My niece sees about what you see, though she will eventually be “a total” like me. Our o and m instructor tells us that vision can be a powerful force for both good and bad.
My niece says the sunlight is overwhelmingly bad, but she can see nothing at night.
Yes, we appreciate a hottie or anyone well dressed and especially well groomed, but here is more to people than appearance. You show a good way to truly see people. Thanks